A hard day

Today has been a hard day for me..I started it with the wonder of what kind of day Carter would have..You just never know. And these past 6 days have been up and down. Yesterday was a better day (until Carter started getting tired around 5 pm)..and now today has been frequent for his 'noises' again. It was also hard for me cause it was me and two boys..and one boy was making noises and complaining of hurting in his fingers and such..and my other little boy was just owly..I think he is teething.
One more week..thats all I can think..I dont think that day can come soon enough..I just want answers..I really cant take watching Carters eyes do what they do during these noises..you know something is going on in his head..Just thinking about this..Carter had noises as a baby..they started after his first shunt was placed..at 8 days old. His head literally was so big that I had to have a c-section. When I was 32 wks pregnant his head was that of a 38 wk baby..and so the docs knew by 38 wks it would too large for me to deliver. Anyways, his head went from large to SUNKEN. His cheek bones stuck out and skull was very visible..and then boom, these noises took place. He had an EEG to check for seizures back then, but it came back negative..they werent seizures..they were brain irritation..The neurosurgeon couldnt explain them..never seem them before..As time went by, his noises lessened and lessened..and then one day I said..Hey he hasnt made his noises for a long time! We had gotten so used to them that we didnt think much of them when they happened.
Well, November 12 and November 13 Carter had two more surgeries..the one the 12th didnt work..and so 18 hours later, they went back in again..This time they placed a longer catheter. Carter was having surgery because his previous catheter got plugged. We were in Omaha Oct. 28-29 and they increased the intercranial pressure from 0.5 (lowest) to 3.0 (highest)...Increased, meaning faster draining..JUST like when he was a baby. And now these noises start again.. COINCIDENCE? I think not..I myself believe that Carter's noises could be from the flow of the shunt being way too high for Carter..And if this is true, his EEG setup for next friday the 18th will come back normal..I guess we will have to see..I just want answers..and want help for my little boy..
I love being home with my boys..but to be home and have to watch my son go through so much makes me sometimes wish I was working..(I do know that if I was working I would go crazy, my place IS at home with my boys right now).
Thats all I have now..I realize that when I am feeling overwhelmed as I did today, I need to call a friend, get in the bible, take a timeout, do something..Barlow Girls song "Never Alone" comes to mind.
Please pray for Carter to have a better day tomorrow..Thanks!