Carter is learning, he really is..and it is SO exciting. However- when I look at the sentences other kids his age or close to his age are saying..it saddens me a little..When I look and see the comprehension that they have it also saddens me. Dont get me wrong..Carter has some comprehension...and he is progressing everyday...but some days..I feel impatient and like a bad mother...I find myself yelling at him..and then I feel bad..because-does he understand completely? (tears-sigh)
I found myself yelling at Carter today because he pushed Emma down three steps...I am thankful she didnt fall down the whole set going down to the basement. Poor Emma was crying and wondering why Carter would do such a thing to her..I held her and made sure she was ok. Carter- that was SO NAUGHTY I tell him...DO NOT PUSH! It upsets me, I dont want her or anyone to get hurt.
I need insight from other mothers with issues like this...I need patience..I need more love. Please pray for this.
-Jess
Friday, February 26, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
The point...
If I have not said so yet, the point of this blog is to bring more awareness to what my family faces every day. More so, what Carter faces..but when we are all here, we face this hand in hand together. The point of this blog, if I have done a good job, is to make people more compassionate for 'others'. To not think of themselves on a higher level than others, to love others as Christ loved and loves us. There are days when I am more compassionate with Carter than others. Days where I show more patience with him and love..and I pray that I can always have this feeling in my heart. So what just happened to make blog right now? Anytime I blog its because something happens that stirs my heart. Today has been a pretty normal day at my house...Carter has been having a fairly good day...Thank the Lord...but out of no where...He screamed. PAIN. He had a really loud pain cry...I havent heard his pain cry for a while and so it definitely caught me off guard and made me feel sad. Although this new medicine is helping, its not 100%. But I do know its benefitting my Carter. Please keep Carter in your prayers...He is still on an obstacle course..one that I wish I knew the way out of, but dont..One that only God can lead him to the end of. Wow, do I love my two boys.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Update on Carter & Camden
I am able to have some time to update the blog today..Carter is sleeping and Camden is on the floor entertaining himself (trying to crawl!)...Things have definitely gotten better since the last time I blogged about Carter..the medicine 2 weeks ago was still 'if-y"...Now- it seems to be working, or atleast helping. He doesnt make his noise quite as much, doesnt seem to be dizzy as much and just seems to be more like himself..which is such a relief.
His PT, Barb, saw him today for the first time in 3 months and the first thing she noticed was his height! YAY for Carter growing! She was impressed by his physical gross motoring also and didnt really give us much homework... :) She does want us to work on Carter and steps though, holding his hand while going up and down with him..
We went to Sioux Falls last thursday for his Pediatric Endocrinologist appt with Dr Karmazin at Sanford Childrens clinic..that went well. Carters level was 4.95 and the cutoff is 4.94..The doctor told me that because he has been growing (1 1/2 inches since August) that we dont need to put Carter back on synthroid...we would simply just be treating a number. If I see in a few months that hes acting sluggish or any other of the classic thyroid symptoms, we can get his levels rechecked locally, but otherwise we dont have to go back to him for a year!
Camden- Camden is really becoming a little man! His personality is certainly coming out..Getting opinionated with what he eats...he just wants whatever we are having...not any of that meat stuff that comes in a jar! :) lol So far Cam has had bread, ground beef (small!!), chicken (small!!), banana, and spaghetti-actually angel hair noodles! He loves all of that too! He chomps with his ONE tooth so cute too. Camden is also trying to crawl...He gets on all fours-rocks, and moves ahead a couple steps....so he is SO close..Its definitely fun to watch him try and figure it out. Carter didnt crawl til, well, he was well over a year old because of all the obstacles he has had to overcome..
Carter and Camdens relationship is seeming to develop more lately also, which is so great to see. Just today Carter took his bread and broke off small pieces (like he sees me do!) and was giving them to Camden...He also tried to give him a drink of water and the list goes on.
Cody and I have been discussing the possibility of a 3rd child lately...If its even an option with our vehicle and house..Hey, its good to first talk about this, right? I still want to a girl someday, we will just have to see if that could/would happen!
More to come later! God Bless, Jess :)
His PT, Barb, saw him today for the first time in 3 months and the first thing she noticed was his height! YAY for Carter growing! She was impressed by his physical gross motoring also and didnt really give us much homework... :) She does want us to work on Carter and steps though, holding his hand while going up and down with him..
We went to Sioux Falls last thursday for his Pediatric Endocrinologist appt with Dr Karmazin at Sanford Childrens clinic..that went well. Carters level was 4.95 and the cutoff is 4.94..The doctor told me that because he has been growing (1 1/2 inches since August) that we dont need to put Carter back on synthroid...we would simply just be treating a number. If I see in a few months that hes acting sluggish or any other of the classic thyroid symptoms, we can get his levels rechecked locally, but otherwise we dont have to go back to him for a year!
Camden- Camden is really becoming a little man! His personality is certainly coming out..Getting opinionated with what he eats...he just wants whatever we are having...not any of that meat stuff that comes in a jar! :) lol So far Cam has had bread, ground beef (small!!), chicken (small!!), banana, and spaghetti-actually angel hair noodles! He loves all of that too! He chomps with his ONE tooth so cute too. Camden is also trying to crawl...He gets on all fours-rocks, and moves ahead a couple steps....so he is SO close..Its definitely fun to watch him try and figure it out. Carter didnt crawl til, well, he was well over a year old because of all the obstacles he has had to overcome..
Carter and Camdens relationship is seeming to develop more lately also, which is so great to see. Just today Carter took his bread and broke off small pieces (like he sees me do!) and was giving them to Camden...He also tried to give him a drink of water and the list goes on.
Cody and I have been discussing the possibility of a 3rd child lately...If its even an option with our vehicle and house..Hey, its good to first talk about this, right? I still want to a girl someday, we will just have to see if that could/would happen!
More to come later! God Bless, Jess :)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Why...
Why are some days the exact same as the day before but I am not? I mean how come I felt strong yesterday and so weak today? I am having a day where it is SO HARD to watch Carter flutter and roll his eyes...Its SO HARD to see his eyes fill up when this happens...Its SO HARD to see him fall down because he is so unsteady. Its SO HARD to feel so helpless. I am praying that this medicine will work, but is it? We started the 7.5 ml dose this morning, which is what his normal dose is supposed to be. We have to sort of 'build' it up in his system. Cody and I question what it is doing for him, if anything. Its not easy to get him to take the med to begin with..and if its doing nothing for him, almost feel like giving up. Of course we can't...cause maybe we just need more time!?
I sit here today with my two boys and think about this world we live in. How hard it can be sometimes and pray that they will find joy and happiness in every day. I pray that Carter wont get made fun of, and I pray that he will surpass everyones expectations. I know all things are possible. Right now I just want to get over this hump of 'brain disturbance.' I hope it will go away. I need to get out, to do something, cause today is eating me up!
Tears, Jess
I sit here today with my two boys and think about this world we live in. How hard it can be sometimes and pray that they will find joy and happiness in every day. I pray that Carter wont get made fun of, and I pray that he will surpass everyones expectations. I know all things are possible. Right now I just want to get over this hump of 'brain disturbance.' I hope it will go away. I need to get out, to do something, cause today is eating me up!
Tears, Jess
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