Worries...A Mothers worries never end!

In my darkest hours you can find me with nothing but worries...and anxiousness. I am sitting here on the couch, while Camden sleeps next to me and Carter is at his first day of preschool (without me)..I have anxiety because its not only his first day without me, but he had quite an eventful night last night. I woke up to his screaming around midnight last night and went to get him...I found him trembling,literally, and could tell it wasnt his normal, "I'm scared" cry, but rather a pain cry. He was shaking because the pain was so severe and we couldnt get his screams to stop. Cody tried to depress his shunt bubble and it wouldnt, like it normally does. We do this because if it does de-press then its most likely working properly. He tried again, still wouldnt..Mind you Carter was still screaming with pain..the tylenol I gave him didnt help. Cody informed me to start packing...so here I was, 12:30 at night...packing our bags to no doubt travel to Omaha immediately...My mind kept saying, this cant be happening. But, it was. As I pack our bags upstairs, Carters cries lessoned. I came down and Cody told me he thought he finally 'dented' it...The shunt obviously had so much pressure built up because it wasnt working properly, that Carter's head may have felt like it could explode? I don't know. Carter finally got some relief and wanted to fall back asleep.
This morning when he got up, it was as if nothing happened. As if we dreamt the whole thing. But it was real. I am so thankful that I have Cody to help with Carter's shunt. I could probably do the same if I had to, I just choose not to. I made a call to Carter's neurosurgeon this morning and am now waiting to hear back if he wants to see Carter or not. We are already going to Omaha sat. morning for an air show, and zoo on sunday..so if we need to go sooner, we can. I am wondering if his shunt pressure needs adjusted or what. It just seems like shunt problems have been frequent lately.

Please be in prayer for Carter. Well, I best be going soon...Gotta go pick him up from pre-school.

Days like today...

Days like today are a reminder to me to be grateful when Carter is himself..because when he is not himself, it takes everything out of me to convince myself that things will be ok. I do have faith that he will be ok, but when I am caught up in a moment, Its serious. Last saturday is a perfect example. Here Cody and I decided to go on a Shayla Bee donation ride and be there for a family who needed support..and Carter had an episode...We didnt really tell anyone or make a fuss because it was about another little boy that day...but i tell you what...I cried practically the whole way home from Spirit Lake...Carter must have had heat exhaustion...It wasnt too terribly bad outside in my opinion, but his medicine can cause him to not sweat and so his body isnt able to cool down..I cried on the way home because nothing I did would wake him up..nothing. I was SO scared that we needed to go to Omaha. Beyond scared.. I found myself asking God..WHY God? Why my Carter? Why is this happening? And I know GOd did tell me "trust me Jess"..When we got home...Carter finally woke up and it was as if the whole thing never happened. He was back to himself...his normal fun playful talkative self. I thank God every day when Carter (and Camden and all family and friends) are in good health!